had a good birthday

yesterday i turned 22 and i had a really great day. i got to eat all i could of some yummy seafood. i made my own cake and it was giving me some trouble. it kept on breaking and comming apart even though i was sure i cooked it long enough. it tastes great though.

my sister got me a poster and gave me $20 towards getting the awakening expansion for dragon age. now i can finally see what all the hype is about. im looking forward to playing it.

my dad got me the firefly season and i st ayed up till 3 watching it. he also got me some really nice inking pens for my art. these pens are amazing! im really in love with them. ive got different shades of grey and different sizes for the black. i tried them out on some crappy old drawings and i loved the results. no bleeding and no smearing, plus they are easy to controle even with the brushlike tips of the bold ones. inking just got fun again lol

also the new dragon age dlc came out and i got it. i know its gotten alot of bad reviews but i really liked it. it only cost $5 and kept me entertained for a bit over an hour. alot of people have complained how it didnt have nearly as much depth as the main story but its not meant to. you play as a darkspawn, a mindless creature who's only reason for exsisting is to serve the archdemon and taint the world. of course there arent going to be any in depth conversations, romances, or deep storyline. plus i enjoyed getitng to kill sten. ive been using him in my party in origins but my god i still hate him lol. well to me anyways i think that the dlc was worth the money i spent. plus it just proves that alister sucked at leading. when my character was leading the group the darkspawn didnt win XD

also ive found a picture of a green sea turtle so ill try to paint that for the future mother in law. i cant start on it though until my other painting finishes drying. ive got no where to put it so its taking up my painting area. i painted some thick bits on it so it will take a while to dry. plus it made me realize that i need alot more practice with the thinning oils. nothing seems to match. some bits are shiny and some bits are very matte where i used alot of that type of oil. i also need to get some better brushes soon, i really hate mine. i got the entire set for around $3 so i cant complain so much. i also want some more paints, i only have very basic colors. painting seems to be a very expensive hobby

new rat

got a new rat yesterday. i saw him and just had to get him. i dont know how old he is but he had been at the store for a few months already and is full grown.





right now im just home and really bored. ive been watching lady gaga music videos on youtube aswell as trying to get the right shade of yellow for my current painting. also my backgrounds arent good enough for my dad, he said they are too plain so i put in some clouds. the good thing about comming from a family of artists is that i will always get an honest opinion. i do need to work on my backgrounds, i can never get them to look right even when im just sketching. like hands and feet i usually avoid drawing them and leave most of my drawings unfinished.

the more i look at my 2 finished paintings the more i hate them, i see so many things wrong with them. its a good thing because it lets me know what i need to improve. i hate being happy with a picture because then i feel like im not seeing something that i should be. i always want to get better and if im happy with my art how will i get any better?

dang dog

its 2:30 in the morning here and for nearly an hour bear was outside.

around 1:30 all of a sudden she really wanted to go out so i decided to let both dogs out. as usual kala did her stull then wanted right back in, well bear decided she didnt want to come in. she would sit by the door and as soon as i opened the door she went into the darkness of the yard. after a while i went out there to get her because she was not comming when i called or shook the treat box. as soon as i got near her she would run away and try to get me to play.

well after nearly an hour of that all of a sudden she came in when i called her. as soon as i shut the door though she was asking to go right back out. yeah, how stupid does she think i am? well needless to say im angry at her. and now she keeps on farting. its very tempting to put her back outside but i think i may just go up to my room and go to bed instead.

also i stayed the night at the fiance's over the weekend. i had a good time. and i got my dad to agree with me about where the wedding should be so that was good. took a bit of arguing but i won out in the end lol.

and my sister and i saw the new freddy movie. it wasnt nearly as bad as i thought it would be. it started nearly 30min late though so for a while we were wondering if we were in the right place. neither one of us wanted to get up and check so we waited it out lol

spring pollen brings sick rachels

ive been home sick since the 14th because of my allergies. i havent seen the fiance all weekend. i havent even seen my best friend hardly at all. she came over twice but i wasnt even feeling up to talking so she didnt stay long at all. im so miserable right now. i am now pouring water into my nose using a small teapot. its actually kind of fun and at the moment is the highlight of my day. ive also been on a firefly kick and have been watching the series with my dad all this weekend. its a really great series and im addicted to it.

well not much else other than me being sick and bored

the adventures of rachel and the shooting range

i was just at the shooting range for the first time today and it was so much fun!. it was really loud and my sister was being a brat and kept having a bad attitude and wanted to leave as soon as we got there, but who cares about her XD

on her first shot though she hit the wire that was holding up the targets. and i killed one of the clips that were used to hold up the targets, i felt so proud of myself remember guys, if you ever have clip problems just give me a call and ill take care of the problem for you XD

needless to say as my first time shooting a handgun i was terrible, but i hit the target a few times and it was really fun. now i want a gun of my own so i can go there without my dad. anyone know od something small, quiet and pathetic? basicly if you were to buy a gun for a 6 year old girl what would it be and ill look into it for myself XD

6yr old in the body of an adult

my friend and i went to the store today and i saw this bubble wand that makes giant bubbles for only $2. they had bright green so of course i got it. i plan on playing with it later today mwa ha ha ha

slo went to the store yesterday with the tiny sister and my god it was so amazing. i found the last of the stretchy waistband pants i like and thye were in my size for only $8. i love these pants so much ^.^ what can i say? im addicted to comfort.

ive also been watching that new life series and my god im in love with it. its so amazing.

what are the chances

the fiance and i went to the church i wanted the wedding to be at during the weekend and turns out its being sold.... again. that is a prime example of some rachel luck.

i stayed the night at the fiance's place and i feel like im at war with his stupid door. i had fun over there though and enjoyed watching him play some videogames while i doodled a little bit, and i do mean a little bit. i got hardly any drawing done because i kept looking up o see what he was doing.

also ive once again become a cd addict and i keep on using change i find around the house to buy more cd's. ive gotten 4 in the past 2 days. muse has become my new favorite group, move aside linkin park. but i think that this just proves i need to hurry up and learn how to download music. the main reason i dont is because of paranoia and the fact i dont know how

and i was cleaning out my room today and i found my old yearbook again. that thing keeps on getitng lost and found over and over again. i was looking through it and still hate my picture in it, bright flashes did not look good with my oily skin. it also made me realize how long its been since i talked to any of my old friends. i dont think many of us talk to each other anymore and they arent the types to go to a highschool reunion so ill probably never see anyone from the group again. it made me kind of sad.

ive also found something i want to save up for. i want a small laptop that is relativley thin and lightweight. im going to collect the pocket change around the house and see how long it takes me to get it. ive found $44 so far from just the past 2 weeks alone. maybe ill start washing clothes and keep everything i find in people's pockets lol

wedding show

on sunday i went to the wedding show. i had a really good time and they gave me a button that said i was the bride in my group of friends and family. i dont think the button helped because whenever we went to a booth the people would always ask who the bride was (the one wearing the dang button! XD) once they found out i was the bride they would ask when and were i was having the wedding. i wish i had a sticker on me with that information because after a while i was sick od answering so i would just say i didnt know lol. no one ever really talked to the fiance about anything. i have put him in charge of finding a photographer because he knows much more about that kind of stuff than i do, plus he has a better eye for that kind of stuff.

some of the sales people were really nice and calm whila few were super pushy and told me to either sign up with them right that second or miss out on the greatest sale of our lifetime. luckily i had my aunt there to help me say no to some people.

also ive decided i need to have an ice sculpture. i never used to think i wanted one until i saw the ones there. they were so pretty and huge and amazing. the big ones were only a bit over $300 which i thought was a good price for something like that.

the fiance and my best friend did not have a good time but they seemed really happy that the other one was there so they could make sarcastic comments to each other. im happy they came.

and my sister tried sushi!!!!!!! she rarely tries new foods but she isnt as bad as my dad. i was so proud of her for trying it. i had some too and is was really yummy. it didnt look like sushi and didnt have much of a tuna flavor because of all the other stuff that was on it so i think i could have it at my wedding and just not tell anyone it was sushi. i think i could get away with it.

and my sister and i are really looking forward to when im ready to get a cake. we want to go to cake tastings and try everything. they had bits of cake, cupcakes, and some cookies there. my aunt, sister, and i tries everything they were giving out.

and of course i got plenty of ideas for my wedding. they had alot of tables set up with flower arangements. one table wa weird and had fuzz balls on th eplates. it was like a fuxxy stuffed animal but with no head or limbs, it was just a ball. it reminded me of a hedgehog.

and i found out i could have my wedding at the small zoo by my house if the church thing doesnt work out ^.^

white dresses and blood

horrible day today. i started my peopiod and every once in a while it will be too heavy so i cant sit up because of being too dizzy. the cramps are bad but the dizzyness is the worst thing ever. i just lay down and dont move and try not to think for about an hour. at least it wasnt as bad as last time. the last time i got the bad dizzyness it lasted all freaking day, today it just went on and off and never lasted more than an hour and a half. needless to dya i didnt see the fiance because of it. hopefully he will come with use girls to the wedding show tomorrow, i cant be the only one planning OUR wedding XP

also i got the most important item for the wedding. on monday i got my dress and some hair bits. i love my dress so much. to me it is the most beautiful thing in the world and if i could i would wear it everyday. i cant wait to wear it for everyone to see. its really starting to set in that i will be a mrs. soon ^.^

sickness and snow

so much snow, of so much snow. last weekend it snowed and it snowed again yesterday. this weekend though i didnt get to play it in because my sister is out of town and i got a wonderful new cold. i havent seen the fiance in ages so im miserable. all i got to do this weekend was brish the snow off of the cars and the steps. i slipped on ice today and fell down on those dang steps so my dad and i put salt all over them. also there is a small lake in the backyard from all the melting snow from last week so that froze over. i got to play on it with the big dog for a while before i started to feel bad again.

other than that not much going on in my life, just a small update

happy birthday to you, mom

today is my mother's birthday. we put new flowers on her grave, ate out, and had cake in her honor. we put rainbow candles on her cake. after 6 years it still feels like she is just on a long vacation and will be home any day. sometimes i still get excited when i see my car in the driveway (it used to be her car) and for just a moment i forget that she is gone. those moments are both the most depressing and the the happiest moments of my life. im really not looking forward to her not being at the wedding. i still would give nearly anything to go dress shopping with her.

i did have a very wonderful dream about her last night. nearly every dream i have about her has one thing in common, her comming back and telling us god made a mistake so she gets to live again. im depressing myself again.

now to the happy part of the day!

i also got a new bible. my other one is for note taking and such while my nice, new one is for just fun reading and prayer of some sort. still dont want to call myself a christian since im having a hard time beliving in jesus among a few other things. but my new bible is so pretty and is all bright green which is my favorite color ^.^ my new one doesnt have any of the red letter stuff though, but my old one does so i still get to read it all. my old was was the cheapest one at the store and you can tell it was made cheaply. my new one is all soft and wonferful and has flowers pictured into a cross shape. its very nature looking which i love.

ive also gotten my new glasses and i hope to wear them somewhat often. they feel weird but fit properly so its just cause im not used to them, they make my nose itch. i also hope the fiance likes them, we will find out this weekend.

im back

and i come home with a little more money thanks to my new lucky belly ring lol.

i had fun on my trip and friday wasnt that depressing at all. i did cry a little when i was alone but i felt better afterwards.

right now i need to make a birthday cake because my mother's birthday is tomorrow. i still need to go and pick out some flowers for her grave.

and to make matters worse the fiance's birthday is this weekend! ive got no idea what to get him. i hate this month, so much stress lol

not much else is going on today. my sister has a big test today so i hope she does well.

fun weekend ahead

im heading off to atlantic city tomorrow nice and early in the morning. im hoping to sleep the entire way since its such a long drive. yes i would like to win it big but rachel luck isnt that greatso ill probably lose my money. im going with my friend, her mom, and her mom's friends. since her mom is such a high roller at the casino we will be staying at evrything is free, the food, the drinks, and the rooms. im going mostly for the food and to get my mind off things

this friday is the anniversery of my mother's death. it will have been 6 years since that horrible day, its hard to believe its been that long yet at the same time it feels like forever ago. usually me and the family just sit at home and dont talk to each other much. i hate it. luckily i have a wondrful friend who ill be sharing drinks and good food with. good food always gets my mind off of things. (thats right guys, if i go to hell then i go to hell for eating)

i will miss the fiance course. he wants me to call him while im up there. i hope i remember to this time lol. i force him to put up with so much. luckily im not a party girl, i just enjoy going out for drinks with just one or 2 friends every few weeks, and gambling every few months it seems.

ive also been playing prototype. ive hardy touched the plot and am still near the start of the game. ive mostly just been screwing around and killing people, seeing how far i can throw them, throwing cars at people, gliding around, throwing people some more. all in all its a very fun game, violent, but fun. they use the f bomb alot at the begining and i come from a family that hardly curses so that was fun to listen to while my dad was in the room.

also if i make any sort of profit this weekend ill post it right away..... so dont expect to hear from me until i get back

it was a good day that started out bad

yup, the fiance and my dad talked today about house stuff, or rather what i assume was house stuff, my sister and i were in the other room. so far so good, we just need a bit of money for the down payment but after that i will be master of the house! and yes, i have been listening to songs from les mes again lol damn my love of theatre.

but yes, today started out with me screaming and kicking. my shower went well until after i was getting out and i kept on sneezing so my freshly shaved legs just prickles up and got spikey. then i was in my room trying to find a fitting pair of pants. i had an entire pile on my bed and not one pair fit, and i dont have any long skirts and i cant go out with just a top and my panties. well i finally found some pants from the late 90s, you know, the ones with pictures sewn into them. well after some more looking and my sister giggling at my expense i found a pair of pants imy mother got for me back when i was 14 that suprisingly still fit decently well. i felt like i was squeezing into a hot dog skin. yeah, i can turn men on lol and also i cut my bangs because they were too long again the other day, and as usual i had cut them far too short. i dont know why i do this, every single time i cut my bangs im not happy with the end result and pray to any god who cares to listen to make my hair grow out and hide my bad cutting skills. luckily future hubby was late so i had extra time to panic (yay)

also my new pleco refuses to eat the algae pellets, but he is eating all the green growing around the tank so i cant complain. i hope he fattens up soon. im also looking forward to upgrading my tiny 20gal to a 55gal. then maybe one day ill have the space for that beautiful 200gal at the store near the fiance's house. i think i would just fill it up with bottom feeders. screw pretty colors and active swimmers, give me a slow moving, spiny catfish any day. and for those of you who dont know plecos are a type of catfish.

i also just finished watching angels and demons with my dad and sister. it was almost as predictable as the divinci code, but still a good movie. my favorite character lived!!!!!! i wont spoil the movie so i wont say who it was.

im really looking forward to moving out, but im stilla bit afraid and unsure because ive lived in the same house with the same people since i was 4 years old. i dont think the fiance realizes how i feel about this. ive tried explaining it to him but he is either being difficult or just doesnt understand. it can be hard to tell with him sometimes but thats part of the suprise i guess. either way it doesnt matter much. moving out is something i need to do and im happy ill be moving in with someone who i love so much and to the best of his abilities, tries to understand what goes through my mind.

and im really starting to warm up to the idea of getitng a pet ferret (the fiance and his dad want a ferret instead of rats) but i dont like the idea of living without vermin. i guess we would ge tthe ferret first and depending on its personality ill decide wether or not i want rats from there. ferrets are fun but rats are so cute and smart and give you all their love in the short years they have with us. rats are as close to god as i think we will ever get until we die. they are the perfect animal besides for their sad endings, but the love they give us while they are alive makes the pain worth it

ive also made a new folder on my myspace for all the pictures people have drawn for me, shanna66. all of this art is based off of my avi on gaia of course, but still. shanna66 already has a bit of a fanbase lol.

speaking of my internet adventures, someone online asked me questions about fish! i have very little confidence in my fish keeping abilities and im always bothering people for advice. i felt like this was a stepping stone. im only confident in giving advice to some species of reptile, leopard geckos mostly since they are my favorite reptile to keep. yes i know they are simple lizards and everyone starts out with one, but they are my favorite. im a slave to the humble leo.

update on the life of a rachel

im still waiting for my sister to get my fable 2 game back from her friend. once i get that thing back i can continue my fable blog.

ive also put down one of my pet rats myself. it was very sad and yes, i cried. i dont look forward to the next time i have to kill one of my babies. he had been sick for a while and was in pain. on his last day alive all the other rats gave him lots of kisses and he tried out the wheel for the first time. when he was done he walked onto my hand and we went to the gas chamber i had made. he got to eat alot of treats right before i put him down. but i still feel bad, but its nice to know he isnt in pain anymore. the fiance and his dad want us to get ferrets instead of rats. i told them i would think about it but i really love rats, sad endings and all. plus when my hair is really messy i can put a rat on my head and this my hair becomes a rats nest. (bad joke, please at least giggle)

we are also havigna bit of trouble with getting the house. im not sure whats going on but the fiance and my dad refuse to talk to each othr about it and are making me the middleman. im getting to deal with all this crap when they should be talking to each other. ill have to take a more offensive aproach to this sometime once i get the guts.

ive also gotten another pleco! so far ive got 2 now, greengot and caine. caine is my new guy and is a black and white butterfly pleco. he is super cute and is alot braver than my other pleco. i had to put him into my 20gal right away because he popped the bag on the way home and water was leaking out to i just put him in the community tank with everyone else out of panic. so far no one is dead.

ive also cleaned my room with the help of my best friend. if any of you have met me then you know im a pack rat and like to keep everything....EVERYTHING

ive also cut my bangs but i accidently cut them too short! they are a bit above my eyebrows and i hate them. i hope they back fast because im going to atlantic city next week to gamble away what little money i have and to eat alot of awsome foods